


If I told you

by LonelyIslandSong



Series: Wild and careless [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Confusion, Friendship, One-Sided Attraction, Other, POV First Person, Poem? - Freeform, Relationship Problems, This Is STUPID, light cussing, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28969731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyIslandSong/pseuds/LonelyIslandSong
Summary: Maybe you don’t call or text, maybe you don’t show up on time or you leave early from something that mattered. Maybe your a terrible friend. But I always went back, and probably always will.
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character
Series: Wild and careless [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124876
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	If I told you

**Author's Note:**

> If the person I wrote this about finds this, I was never here.

If I told you I was in love with you, what would you say? You’d probably tell me I’m crazy, ask if the whole thing was a joke. Then I’d lose my only friend.

It’s kind of crazy that I like you. But after so many years of playful jabs and inside jokes I couldn’t help it. I rely on you for a lot and you take advantage of me every time.

You blow me off for other people far worse then me and ignore me for weeks. I always text you first instead of doing the logical thing and letting you leave. 

You go through relationships like nothing and I sit back and watch you break your own heart over and over. Your a terrible person, and even through we playfully say we hate each other.

(You probably mean it)  
(I don’t)

I don’t even know what to say. But every time I think I’m confident enough to say it and face the consequences, I cower.

Maybe one day I suppose I will reach the mindset of living with no regrets but until then I live watching you become more and more human, right in front of me.

More and more reachable, worse and worse for me.

We always joke that your a terrible person and hurt the people close to you, but do you honestly realize it. Have you ever once opened your eyes and really seen it. Because you are, your a terrible person who wouldn’t know good if it hit them in the face. You punch and jab and say mean hurtful things, and the only way to respond without sounding hurt is to hit back. We aim for the sensitive parts of each other until we’re both lost and hurting.

Are you really that lost and alone, that you don’t realize I want to help. Or maybe you do and you realize that in no way or life will I be able to help you.

Is that why you don’t call or text? Why you chase after people who will hurt you? Why you push and push until your bleeding? Because you think your unfixable.

Maybe that’s why you blow me off, because you think your tainted, or wrong. Or maybe you just don’t care, you just see what you want to do and you do it, even if it hurts someone.

Well fuck you.

I wish I didn’t need you. I wish I could say everything to your face. I wish I wasn’t some coward chasing after a toxic ass bitch who’s only going to hurt me. 

And when I think I’m done, when I think I’m free of it and can walk away, your you again. You say we should hang out, you notice I’m sad and try to make it better and suddenly I’m back in the waiting room that’s always full. 

I don’t know how to end this just like I don’t know how to end THIS, why can’t I do anything?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and if you ever struggle with a relationship like this, feel free to reach out and we can talk. As alone as we feel, there’s someone out there for you always.


End file.
